What is Kintsugi and what does it have to do with Romance?
Kintsugi (“golden joinery”) is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.
A new piece of pottery is not unlike a new relationship. The surface is polished, and without chips and nicks. But what happens after years of wear and tear? Not to mention a break.
It is the same with relationships. And with some, once broken, it can be hard or nearly impossible to restore. Those that stand a chance are often marked by scars. Some view these scars as reminders of hurt, pain or failure. Often they are so glaring that they outshine the love that lay beneath. Unfortunately, many cannot get beyond this. They end a relationship, feeling it is easier to begin again with someone new.
This is where Kintsugi comes in. In this art form, the beauty lie in the breaks. They are not hidden, but celebrated. The bond that glues the broken pieces, not only gives it strength, but a unique and personal beauty that becomes a marker of the journey taken together.
Appreciate the beauty of breaks and scars.
Learning to appreciate Kintsugi together can be the needed conversation starter. It can be a way to begin looking at beauty in new ways and thus viewing the beauty of a union: bumps, breaks, scars and all.
Some who are adventurous, attempt repairing broken pottery as a couple. There are kits to be found, but one must be careful in using the bonding agents and paints. Some simply purchase a piece to display as a reminder that as they grow together, continually patching, they are also growing in a very unique and personal beauty.